Boys Too Can Cry

Boys Too Can Cry – Lets Break The Illusion About the Rights to Cry

For centuries, shedding tears has been considered a symbol of weakness, not only in India but across the globe. Hence, crying is often perceived as an emotion only for girls or women who are considered weaker than men in most cultures around the world.

Boys face frequent criticism and are compared to girls if they cry, even when they are just children. Thus, when they grow into adults, boys develop this deep-rooted notion that crying will destroy their image of an emotionally stable and reliable individual.

How & Why This concept Was Established?

If we look in the pages of history we can see men have taken on the role of the primary disciplinarians being nucleus of their families. To fulfill this role successfully, they had to pretend to be emotionally strong hiding their natural feelings of love, happiness, sadness, pain, and hurt. Failure to do so made the society feel that the man is incompetent, weak and not fit to safeguard his family.

As society became more male-dominated, boys got injected with the thought process that they should pretend to be tough. Boys, from their childhood, are forced to believe they should hide their emotions. So, any show of emotion by boys, even as children, was criticized. Boys Don’t Cry This phrase established in the mind created a deep sense of superiority and masculinity. The trend became so common that the sight of a boy crying was considered a shameful act and something to be made fun of. Even centuries later, this notion is absorbed so deeply in us that whenever a boy cries, many parents tell him to stop crying. But why? Well, it is because he is not a girl. And also because the world says boys don’t cry.

Women and girls, on the other hand, primarily played the role of caregivers, besides being working women in many cases. Society allowed them to express their emotions freely. They can display their feelings without being made fun of. But why? Just like men, the inability of women to express their feelings was considered unnatural. For the society, it is indicative of some problem in her. Since crying is one of the few ways of expressing both happy and sad emotions, women would often be teary-eyed. Such a thought process soon led to the fact that women are weak, and so they can cry.

The sad truth is that even today, most societies disapprove of the act of boys or men crying. Those who choose to express their emotions by crying, society considered them weak. Many people not only support but also appreciate the unnatural behavior of suppressing their feelings by men.
Crying is a fundamental aspect of human emotional expression.

From the moment we are born, crying serves as a crucial communication tool. It’s a way of signaling our needs and discomforts. As we grow up, crying continues to be a way to express deep emotions. We can’t deny that it also helps to cope with stress. Scientific research supports the idea that crying has physiological benefits. Crying is a natural process that helps to reduce stress by lowering cortisol levels. It is the body’s primary stress hormone. Tears in our eyes are a form of non-verbal communication. It helps to convey our feelings that words sometimes cannot capture.

Several research studies revealed the fact that restricting tears can lead to various health and behavioral disorders. It can be harmful to individuals, irrespective of gender. Such acts also affect their loved ones.

Such behavior promotes social evils like gender stereotypes and inequality. Emotional restrictions also foster anger within men. It develops a sense of sexual superiority in them. Such complexity sometimes makes them insensitive and disrespectful. To overcome the anger within, men make use of abusive words and act abusive towards women. Many are not aware of the fact that suppressing feelings makes men less emotionally intelligent. It hampers their personal and professional growth. It restricts their ability to resolve conflicts and enjoy a cordial relationship with their family members and peers.

The Changing Scenario

Thankfully, this perception of boys crying being embarrassing is changing. Over the years, we have seen many boys and men, cry publicly without feeling ashamed. Salute to them for being so courageous to express their feeling with tears. In place of criticizing such men, society should appreciate their courage. It is time for us as a society to accept the fact that boys and men can be as sensitive and emotional as women. After all, they are human. There should not be any discrimination for men and women, boys and girls, concerning emotions. Women can be as emotionally stable and physically strong as men. So, rather than associating crying with any specific gender, it should be viewed as a way of venting their emotions by individuals in certain situations.

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This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’  hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla  in collaboration with Dr. Preeti Chauhan.